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I don’t like it—but I know I’m guilty of this mentality too.

But then again, we can all be guilty of bad dating behavior, even while disliking it.

It’s a constant struggle that I’ve written about on multiple occasions — our emotional languages can be tricky, we’re not always the best listeners, we send confusing text messages, and oftentimes we hesitate to make the first move.

As I am sure you know, this can lead to a huge lack of clarity.

I don’t want to be the kind of guy who rushes to a judgement or idealizes someone in my head before I’ve even had a chance to get to know them. For starters, not looking the person up on Facebook before a date and getting rid of any “mental checklist” I have, are easy pre-date fixes.

We paint the picture of the date before we get to know the person for who they are." Making a judgment based on appearance can be a challenge.

Men are especially visual creatures and we tend to rely heavily on how a woman looks, but online profiles can lead us astray.

Like most people, James sees that putting thoughts of marriage on the back burner can get him closer to where he wants to be professionally, “but what am I doing to counter that? It can be so easy to put career before social life, but we shouldn’t be afraid to give some priority to meeting new people and socializing, James added.

“I make a point of trying to go out with friends or coworkers to do something social once a week.” But James doesn’t just stay within his circle, he makes a point to engage others.

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